Plan C: Parsley Tea
Brought to you by A Tired Witch
Some advice I got years ago but which I rarely see circulating has unfortunately become especially relevant this week, so I am writing it down:
Parsley is a gentle natural abortifacient in *early* stages of pregnancy in that it induces menstruation. If you suspect you could be pregnant too late for something like plan B (which is time sensitive to within something like two, at best three, days) or weigh more than 155 pounds, at which point it loses effectiveness, and have arrived at a late or missed period, parsley may provide a safe, easy, stealthy DIY method for flushing out an unwanted zygote. At least, that is the folk wisdom that was shared with me, and it seems to be supported by warnings against over-use of parsley for those who are pregnant and want to stay that way or who are trying to get pregnant on most medical and pregnancy advice sites.
What's more is that parsley has other herbal benefits, such as containing vitamins K and C and supporting blood and heart health! This both provides an excuse to use it as well as actual health benefits.
To Terminate Pregnancy with Parsley:
Over-consumption is key, making volume and potency essential. I was never taught a specific amount and so I'm not going to just google it and copy the results as if it's knowledge I can attest to when I can't, but what I can tell you is that tea is far and away the fastest and easiest way to get large amounts of it into your system in a stealthy, ongoing way. People I know who have used parsley successfully for this purpose have purchased one fresh bundle as it's sold in most grocery stores--about a handful of stems--to be consumed over the next two or so days.
Once you have your fresh parsley, simply chop it--finer is better, but you hardly need to be Gordon Ramsey--and then place it in a strainer, teabag, or simply drop it in your mug. (You'll end up drinking little bits of slimy wet leaf this way but that's harmless, just not pleasant.) Add hot water. Let sit 3-5 minutes at least, drink. If you can, though, leave the parsley in your mug/tumbler. Since concentration is everything, it sitting in there and getting stronger and stronger and stronger can only serve you better. Whenever you are out of tea, refill, adding/replacing with fresh parsley whenever possible, though you can of course try to eek a little more out of the leaves you've already used if refilling on the go. Do this until you are out of parsley--it will probably last you two, maybe three days. By then you will hopefully have had a period.
If not, parsley is fairly harmless. You could continue doing this with a fresh batch for quite awhile as far as I'm aware, though I am a witch, not a doctor, and so cannot guarantee that. You should also be mindful, of course, of any allergies you may have.
Other natural abortifacients:
Raspberry is known to strengthen the uterus and ensure healthy menstruation, and is not necessarily harmful when pregnant, but if over-used can become so, particularly in early pregnancy. Doctors recommend no more than one cup a day for those in the early stages of a pregnancy, so in theory three or four cups should have the opposite effect and terminate a pregnancy instead of assisting it. Raspberry leaf teas are sold in stores, sometimes as "pregnancy tea" or as uterine tea.
Beyond that, there are also truly heavy hitters which can be acquired as herbal remedies in some locations (apparently) but which are *NOT* safe to just casually self-administer. Raspberry and parsley almkst certainly won't hurt you unless you happen to be allergic. Other traditional herbal abortificants potentially will. These include pennyroyal and rue, and I do not recommend their use as they are likely to just outright poison you. They are old standbys despite their serious dangers, however, and so I would remiss not to acknowledge that they're out there. Do not take this acknowledgement as a personal endorsement of their use--I want no responsibility for hospitalizing any of you.
